Best of the ‘80s Part 2

At this point I've finally realized there's not many '80s horror movies I'm not familiar with. And that's a terrible thing to realize. So after the fun we had with the Best of the '80s and the Slasher Years we’re here to wrap it up on the decade when splatter was king and Freddy Krueger usurped Darth Vader as America's favorite villain. 

So let’s get to it, shall we?

In the midst of the slasher fad of the early ‘80s, Boogeyman had the distinction of adding a funky supernatural angle to its slaughter.

Here a mirror that once "witnessed" an act of violence still harbors those evil impulses and when shattered unleashes them anew in the present day. Boogeyman hasn’t held up too well but it seemed pretty terrific at the time as an off-beat alternative to the typical slasher films of the day.

Still love it when the obligatory annoying kid gets his head crushed by a window pane.

While Lucio Fulci was doing his best work, this unsung Italian splatter gem also had plenty to offer. Directed by Andrea Bianchi, Burial Ground can lay claim to being the only film to have a zombie kid bite one of its mother’s nipples off. So what are you waiting for? Run out and rent this gem now!

A moody, atmospheric ghost story that would probably do bang-up business today. But back in the early ‘80s, audiences didn’t have a lot of patience for horror flicks that didn’t feature explicit throat slashing or exploding heads. Nothing wrong with that but times sure have changed, haven’t they?

I hardly remember this to be honest, having not seen it since it was on HBO back in the day. Its big scene involves a wheelchair coming down a flight of stairs. People say it’s a classic ghost story so who am I to argue?

One of my favorite bad movies. A schoolbus drives through a fog of radioactive gas (sure, why not?) which turns every kid on board into a zombie-like killer that can literally fry any adult they touch with their black-fingernailed hands.

The best part is when the besieged adults figure out (don’t ask me how) that the only way to kill these scary bastards is to cut their damn hands off. By the end of the movie, there’s plenty of severed hands scattered all over the place. A truly excellent piece of crap.

I picked this up on DVD recently to see if time had altered my initial impression of this Brian De Palma riff on Psycho. Nope, it was still a galling little rip-off. De Palma’s visual flair gives it some value but it’s overall a ridiculous thriller. And funnily enough, in trying so hard to "update" Psycho by addressing the sexual mores of its time and having the characters speak in frank, sometimes explicit dialogue, Dressed to Kill now seems more dated than Psycho ever will.

I think unless you were around for the release of this film, it’s hard to appreciate it in light of the subsequent Friday series. For younger fans who crave the exploits of Jason this first entry in the series is invariably a letdown. But for me, I never tire of this original trip to Camp Crystal Lake. 

This film was so off-limits to me as a kid that it still reminds me of that time as an early adolescent when seeing an R-rated horror movie held so much mystique.

One of the crassest exploitation films of the early ‘80s. 

It may not be in the same league as Bloodsucking Freaks or I Spit on Your Grave but it is one crazy wallow in gratuitous…stuff.  

But for some reason, I don’t find this one to be as desensitizing as the aforementioned films. I think because it is so silly and has so many of the trappings of a ‘50s sci-fi horror film that it doesn’t feel as mean-spirited and as psychologically abusive as a film that has scene after scene of women being tackled and raped by horny fish creatures really should.

Or maybe it’s just the reassuring presence of Doug McClure.

Another excellent ball of confusion by Dario Argento.

The alleged sequel to Suspiria shows that film to be as tightly plotted as an Agatha Christie mystery in comparison to the orgy of supernatural set pieces that passes for a story here.

Taking place mostly in a gothic mansion that overlooks New York’s Central Park, Inferno details in great style what happens when people stumble too close to the lair of the Mother of Darkness. Love the finale.

This is the sort of off-beat horror film that always finds a cult following. At a time when the TV ads for almost any new horror movie were enough to send me racing out of the room, the ads for Motel Hell made it look too alarming to take. The fact that it was a horror comedy didn’t register with me at the time.

Typical Ken Russell trippiness. Hoo-boy! If you like hallucinations then this is the flick for you, friend. William Hurt spends way too much time in an isolation tank in a college basement then things get really weird. Did I mention this film has hallucinations? Altered States, man. That’s what it’s all about.

Darned if I know what a "boogen" is but they’ve got some sharp-ass teeth. That much I do know.

In this sentimental favorite, a Colorado mine is re-opened after being shuttered for many years. Turns out this mine should’ve stayed off limits as some way-aggressive creatures live in there. Beware the boogens!

No one ever calls them boogens in the film (whew!) but that’s just what they are. This is a good low budget monster movie that seemed especially cool at a time when every new horror movie seemed to be a slasher flick.

Never take a trip to the jungle. That’s something everyone can learn from an Italian cannibal movie. I learned not to smuggle hash overseas from Midnight Express, learned not to travel in the US South from Deliverance and, boy, did watching the likes of Cannibal Ferox put me off any and all jungle expeditions.

Does it get any better than early ‘80s Italian horror? Well, yes. But this gut-muncher puts a welcome Italian zombie spin on the familiar mummy legend. Fun stuff with an awesome finale.

Dead and Buried

In the coastal village of Potter’s Bluff, any unlucky folks just passing through soon find themselves murdered by a mob of sadistic locals. The new sheriff has an inkling of something seriously wrong in his town but can’t nail down what. Not helping much is the fact that voodoo seems to be involved. A personal favorite, Dead and Buried is one of the best of the ‘80s.

An unusual and ambitious ‘80s horror film. Director/screenwriter Frank La Loggia (23 years old at the time) spins a wild yarn about a troubled high school student who also happens to be the Anti-Christ. Definitely atypical horror fare.

Oliver Stone made a horror film in the ‘70s called Seizure, which was really interesting. I like his second genre effort slightly less so. But it is fun to see Stone taking the silly sub-genre of killer hand films so damn seriously. In The Hand, Michael Caine plays a cartoonist who first loses his hand in an accident and then loses his career and wife.

And if you think all this puts Caine in one angry mood, you’d be right. The best news he gets is that his missing hand has apparently returned to take revenge on everyone he thinks has screwed him. 

So in other words, that hand has its work cut out for it.

Oh boy – Incubus! It takes a brave soul to take what this movie has to offer. Personally, it’s not my entertainment of choice. Sure, you’d think that I’d be really into a movie about a raping demon but no, not in this case.

This was final chapter of the Omen trilogy until the made-for-TV fourth installment in the ‘90s.

Not often given much credit over the years, I remember liking this until the disappointing and anti-climatic conclusion. You’d think that after three films leading up to the defeat of the Anti-Christ they could’ve given him a properly spectacular demise.

Especially in a series that made its name off of "creative" deaths. But no, a dagger in the back is all the satanic sap gets. Ho-hum. But this is still worthwhile for Sam Neill’s performance as Satan’s son, now ensconced in the Oval Office.

I remember the TV ads for this showing a shocked audience reacting to the famous "exploding head" scene. Graphic special effects were still not taken for granted as yet and Scanners had its share of groundbreaking splatter. I couldn’t believe it when I saw the exploding head on the cover of FANGORIA. More mainstream than anything Cronenberg had done up to that time, Scanners holds up today as an uneven but provocative film.

1981 had two classic werewolf films to its credit, American Werewolf in London and The Howling. As a result, this other smart werewolf film got somewhat lost in the shuffle. Lacking the unprecedented special effects of the other two films, Wolfen instead relies on a literate script laced with social commentary and solid performances. 

This sequel to the so-so but way popular Amityville Horror is one seedy affair. That’s probably why I prefer it over the original. Tasteless and sordid, Amityville II will never win acclaim for its classy approach to the genre but it has a way of getting under your skin. It’s a prequel that purports to detail the murderous events that originally left the house up for sale.

An exploitation gem that somehow has never been a big favorite with me. I much prefer the two sequels and writer/director Frank Henelotter’s other work like Brain Damage and Frankenhooker. But Basket Case is still a must-see movie and it’s arguably one of the best New York movies ever.

This is the last movie I ever saw at a drive-in.

It was playing on the second half of a double bill with Chuck Norris’ Forced Vengeance. The ads for this one already had me shaking in my boots with its "dare" for viewers to sit through the last thirty minutes of the film.

Well, we didn’t get even that far. After about twenty minutes my friend’s parents thought things were getting too intense for us pre-teen kids and we hightailed it out of there.

When I finally did get to see the movie in full, I wasn’t disappointed. The script is uneven and frankly nonsensical at times but the bottom line is that it’s an well-acted, serious horror movie.

It has a real lurid atmosphere and the special effects are pure early ‘80s. At a time when horror films were falling over themselves to top the latest landmark transformation FX, this one really went all out.

Remakes of classic horror and science fiction films were coming fast and furious in the early ‘80s and while most were judged as disappointments at the time, I also think most of them have proven to date well.

Writer/director Paul Schrader doesn’t usurp the original 1942 Jacques Tourneur classic here but his film does have its own merits – scoring points for being one of the kinkiest big budget horror movies ever. And for its part in the early ‘80s splatter sweepstakes there’s the sight of Ed Begley Jr.’s arm being chewed off by a panther or some other big freakin’ cat.

Not nearly what it could’ve been but an enjoyable hodgepodge just the same. Created in the spirit of the much-loved EC Comics of their youth, Stephen King and George Romero concoct a decent anthology film that has plenty of fun, stylish moments but never quite delivers the kind of scares that many were hoping for at the time. It’s a little too content to be a light diversion rather than a hardcore horror effort. 

Still, elements of the film have become minor classics of their own – most notably the final segment with E.G. Marshall as a germ-phobic recluse. Tom Savni’s effects are as uneven as the film itself but he manages some great bits too.

And he makes house calls! Straight-up schlock here with all-out gore competing with too many moments of horrible tedium. It’s not a favorite of mine but when talking about the early ‘80s, you’ve got to give it up for Dr. Butcher at least a little bit.

Like most Italian horror films of the era, Dr. Butcher takes place in yet another jungle. This time a mad doctor is after the lofty goal of re-animating the dead. If I mention he’s assisted in this goal by a tribe of local cannibals, I think you can see this movie ain’t sparing any carnage. Too bad it’s a crappy flick.

Awesome title, though.

Not a horror film but it does boast one of the coolest monsters of the decade with its incredibly realistic dragon. This was back when Disney was trying to toughen up its image with films like The Black Hole, Tron, and Watcher in the Woods.

This is the best of that bunch and it does have a surprising sense of grit to it.

I remember trying and failing to worm my way into theaters to see this when it hit my area. I had read about it in first Twilight Zone magazine where Stephen King reported seeing it at Cannes and then in FANGORIA who pimped it with appropriate enthusiasm.

So when I saw the ad for it in the paper, I did my twelve-year-old best to make it in but it just didn’t happen. But when I finally caught up with it on video, it blew me away. And this was when most considered Evil Dead to be a scary movie rather than camp.  

And hey - I still think it's scary! 

Isn’t it nice that Jason was around to get a piece of the early ‘80s resurgence of 3-D? In every other way, though, this is the typical 2-D bloodbath. Some great kills (the best in the series, for my money) and Jason (Richard Brooker, who’s still my favorite of the Jasons) dons his famous hockey mask for the first time.

A sequel that gets little respect from fans but which I think is actually a cool film that at least tried to pull off something different. The saga of Michael Myers was over with Halloween II – and the subsequent return to Myers-themed Halloweens has only proven that.

Had this been a success, the series would’ve gone on to develop films that shared only the common theme of Halloween itself. For its part, Season of the Witch has a paranoid, Invasion of the Body Snatchers feel to it.

The town in which most of the film’s action takes place is named Santa Mira after the town in Body Snatchers and Halloween III delivers a steady stream of shocks – the most graphic of which were supplied by makeup man Tom Burman.

And who could ever forget those insanely catchy Silver Shamrock ads?

A big-budget, effects-laden ghost movie that works. This was one of the first horror movies I got to see on the big screen so I maintain a level of affection for it, despite its saccharine touches. Gotta love a PG movie that can push a scene of a guy tearing his face off past the MPAA.

Any time a monster movie popped up in the early ‘80s, it was cause for celebration. Amid all the slasher movies, monster fans had slim pickings back then. This typically quirky Larry Cohen offering is nothing but cool.

And does anyone not like winged serpents?

This was one funky alien flick. A UK film, this was an almost surreal alien-impregnation film that involved – among other things – a woman giving birth to a full-grown man. It’s all pretty seedy and nonsensical but nonetheless a memorable piece of work. Cool design on the alien costume involved the actor inside the suit walking backwards on his hands.

An underrated Carpenter film. Coming after The Thing, Carpenter seemed contrite here with no graphic moments but Christine is a well-crafted film that boasts some of Carpenter’s finest widescreen framing.

This was a big year for Stephen King adaptations. Pretty cool to have Carpenter and Cronenberg both helming King films in one year (and Lewis Teague surprisingly scored the best one with Cujo). With Christine and The Dead Zone, both films were attempts by their makers to bounce back from previous films that had tanked. Carpenter with The Thing and Cronenberg with Videodrome.

Going with King adaptations was thought to be a safe bet commercially.

For that fact, The Dead Zone was a disappointment to many hardcore Cronenberg followers at the time who prefer him with a provocative edge. But over the years it’s aged well as Cronenberg’s most mainstream, most overtly humane film.

I love rampaging rats. And there’s a lot to love here.

Filmed in Canada, this is the ne plus ultra of killer rat films (unless you’re an Of Unknown Origin fan). These rats even take a page from the Blob’s notebook and attack a packed movie house (that’s showing a Bruce Lee film – which one, I forget). The rats here are so bad-ass that they even drag a baby from its high chair. And they even do in Scatman Crothers. Those damn rats don’t know when to stop!

Released in the wake of Poltergeist, The Entity had the misfortunate of not having the razzle dazzle to compete with Spielberg’s ILM lightshow. Unfortunately, this serious attempt at a ghost movie didn’t have any box office clout. Barbara Hersey gets raped by an invisible spirit (already you can tell this is family fun on a major scale) and parapsychologists have to come to the rescue.

When I saw the commercials for this I knew I had to see the "Final Chapter" opening weekend.

So I cajoled my mom to take me and my best friend to check it out. This was my first Friday on the big screen and it was awesome! I still think it’s is the bloodiest entry in the series. Tom Savini was coming to end of his hey day as the Sultan of Splatter and he really outdid himself here. But when the final freeze frame on Tommy came up, we all knew we had been taken.

Final Chapter my ass!

Lucio Fulci knows how to have fun, that’s for sure. And what could be more fun than a chick ralphing up her entire intestinal tract? For those that don’t know, in Gates of Hell a priest hangs himself and opens – duh! – the gates of hell.

That means zombies can come out to do what zombies do best.

A movie like The Hunger seemed out of step at the time. Way stylized, this movie has a stunning look thanks to director Tony Scott. But with genre buffs at the time primarily into straight-up exploitation, fans didn’t really take to The Hunger’s artsy approach. But younger fans (like myself) were bowled over by the unique look of the film and it remains a favorite of Gen-Xers.

Like The Hunger, this is another instance of style coming first. Michael Mann does a cool job here and if the story – about a demon residing in an nazi-occupied fortress during WWII – doesn’t seem to gel, the visuals are exceptional.

This was actually the pilot for a proposed TV anthology show but it was released to theaters instead. Lucky us! I actually have some fondness for Nightmares. It came out at an age for me when I thought any commercial for a new horror film looked cool as hell.

This movie hasn’t dated well for me. But I saw it twice in the theaters at the time under its US title of Creepers. I know I was watching the edited version but I liked it more then. Seeing it as an adult, uncut, the film no longer had much appeal for me. Oh well.

It’s still nice to see Donald Pleasence teamed up with a monkey.

Not a rousing success, this was thought to have missed the mark in adapting one of the great fantasy novels of all time. That’s a pretty fair criticism but I still like this anyhow for its autumnal mood and tone of nostalgia. Maybe someday someone else will take a crack at it.

You want to see something really scary? 

Well, this isn’t quite that but there are two great segments here – Joe Dante’s "It’s A Good Life" (marking another Dante/Bottin collaboration) and George Miller’s "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet" (with a great performance by John Lithgow).

And who can forget John Landis’ great framing story?

Due to the tragic death of actor Vic Morrow in an on-set accident, it’s unlikely this will ever get a Special Edition treatment on DVD (I can't imagine a director's commentary, for example) but as one of more intriguing projects of the early ‘80s – an anthology featuring four of the most popular directors of the time – I hope it continues to be available on home video.

1984:

The last crappy Amityville movie you need to see. Actually no one needs to see this but I’ve got some nostalgia for it as it was one of the last films to try and cash in on the 3-D revival of the early ‘80s.

Plenty of people like this one but it blows. Did I mention that this blows?

How C.H.U.D. ever entered into the cultural lexicon, I have no idea. But even people who have never seen this movie (and that would be a lot of people) still know what a chud is. Well, at least they know it’s something that lives in the sewer.

But only a true fan knows the title not only stands for Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers but also for Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal. Either way it’s a bad movie but hell, it’s C.H.U.D. man!

A real sci-fi gem. It’s not horror, but it does have its share of scary moments (what kid from the ‘80s could forget the Snake-man?) so it earns a mention here.

This pre-dated A Nightmare on Elm Street but the Elm Street script had already made the Hollywood rounds so many times that it’s likely Dreamscape copped its ideas from Craven’s script. But hey, they’re both great films.

One of the great horror comedies. Bill Murray has rarely been funnier or cooler (and that’s saying something). Siqourney Weaver has never looked better (ditto). And who doesn’t love Ernie Hudson, huh?

This was a good year for horror comedies with Ghostbusters and this surprise hit from Joe Dante. One of the great twisted Christmas films of all time, too. For a film with reputation as a "kids" film, this is brutal stuff (who could forget the mother cooking a gremlin in the microwave?). One of the better monster movies of the ‘80s.

Peter Weller scores another genre hit (although few people seem to remember this one) as an upscale marketing executive that has to figure out how to snuff the giant rat living in his expensive pad. Funnily enough this was directed by George Cosmatos, the same genius who directed my other fave rat movie, Deadly Eyes.

So tell me – why isn’t this guy doing the Willard remake?

A fun monster movie with its own cult of fans. Proof that it’s never bad to have monsters with lots of teeth in your movie.

An ouch-tastic entry in the Jason series. The characters are more unlikable than ever, the kills are for the most part off-camera and worst of all, Jason himself is forced to sit this one out. What gives? But damn it, why is it that I still have some fondness for this one? Well, it’s hard not to like a mid-‘80s slasher film that isn’t shy about T&A, conspicuous drug use, and knows the difference between Dawson’s Creek and Crystal Lake.

A bad year for horror icons (see above) continues with the return of the Big G to American screens. Even the most forgiving Godzilla fans walked away from Godzilla 1985 with a severe case of radiation burn.

Now we’re talking! Anyone who doesn’t love Tobe Hooper’s naked vampire chick classic can eat it.

I only wish this had been as cool as Berni Wrightson’s illustrations for King’s novella. Now that would’ve made for a classic horror movie. But Silver Bullet does have Gary Busey as a drunken uncle and maybe that’s good enough.

For years I hated this one – God does it suck when a whole movie turns out to be a joke and/or dream! But this is actually kind of a fun movie. And hey, it does give Friday the 13th Part II’s Amy Steel another chance to be the lead in a horror movie.

April Fool’s Day was directed by When A Stranger Calls’ Fred Walton.

When a weird dude sporting a steel mask (Michele Soavi, in this case) hands you free tickets to a midnight movie do yourself a favor and pass.

In this zesty splatterfest directed by Lamberto Bava and produced by Dario Argento, unlucky patrons at the midnight opening of a movie theater find that what’s going on in the aisles is bloodier than anything on the screen. A must-see on the 80s gore tour, Demons doesn’t score on the I.Q. meter but is off the scale mayhem-wise.

Jason recoups from his one-film sabbatical and returns here as a zombie. Which begs the question – was Jason just supposed to be a psycho hillbilly freak in the first five films?

Whatever the case, Part VI establishes the J-man as 100% zombie goodness. This is actually the best of the Friday sequels as far as being the closest to a real, honest-to-God movie. It’s a slick, exciting affair with a bevy of appealing in-jokes that predate Scream by ten years.

A smart thriller, F/X is the kind of clever low-budget movie that was once not so hard to come by. It also brought the phrase "F/X" into the popular lexicon.

There’s not many horror comedies that are well liked by fans but over the years this one has earned its own following. Maybe it is a little too on the cute side but what the hell, right?

Tobe Hooper’s days of getting his movies in theaters started to get slimmer after too many duds like this one. But like most of Hooper’s "failures", this isn’t all that bad. As one of many 80’s sci-fi horror remakes (including The Fly and The Thing among others), Invaders from Mars is the least impressive of the bunch but it does have a certain retro-appeal to it. Actually it has double the retro-appeal now as a flashback to the ‘80s as well as the ‘50s.

A bad movie classic. I actually like this more than the ’77 remake (no, that’s not saying much). At least it’s more honestly cheesy. You really can’t deny the charms of a film that depicts a heart transplant operation on a giant ape.

A fun horror/comedy/musical that’s by far a bigger affair than the modest Roger Corman original. Like most big-budget remakes, this was seen as being a pointless "improvement" but over time, it’s gained its own admirers. Too bad the planned ending of Audrey Jr. attacking Manhattan was dropped prior to release.

Boy, what a load this one turned out to be. After years of carping that Hollywood wasn’t doing justice to his books (no argument there in some cases), swill producer Dino DeLaurentiis gave author Stephen King the reins to his own movie and the result was emblematic of bad 80’s horror.

The characters are all shrill and unlikeable (save for stotic heroes Emilio Estevez and Laura Harrington). Maybe a movie about killer trucks didn’t have a chance to begin with but this is still probably worse than it had to be. I know I felt worse than I needed to after watching it. 

I’ll give it some credit for the AC/DC soundtrack, at least.

Not too bad for a lame sequel. But it is lame.

H.R. Giger worked on the conceptual art and although it doesn’t do nearly enough justice to the man, a scene or two – notably the tequila worm sequence – do have a nice, grotesque quality to them.

The returning cast – sadly sans the late Dominque Dunne – still have a real chemistry and they’re believable as a family unit. Poltergeist II also has that cadaverous preacher (played by Julian Beck, who died shortly after filming) to its credit – one of the coolest boogeymen of the ‘80s (and who was featured on the cover art for Anthrax’s Among the Living album).

For a movie that should’ve never had any sequels, I have to admit that the Psycho sequels were a decent set of films that never tarnished the original. A lot of that might have to do with the fact that Anthony Perkins was Norman Bates and always brought a tragic quality to a character that easily could’ve been too repellent in other hands.

Perkins was behind the camera as well on this one, making his directorial debut. It’s a nice piece of work and in many ways, I like this better than Psycho II, which was very good itself.

I think that with a little more distance from the original, III is a little freer to be a seedier affair. That isn’t to say it’s a classless one. The doomed romance between Norman and a distraught nun (Diana Scarwid) is quite touching.

Ah, one of the big splatter films of the ‘80s. Directed by Jim Muro, this one has it all. If by "all" you mean exploding winos that melt down into pools of multi-colored slop. There’s also enough tasteless humor here to offend almost every possible viewer. In other words, it’s great. The plot is nothing much – drunks and derelicts drink contaminated booze and die in spectacular meltdowns: End of Story. But it is an essential stop on the splatter highway.

Looking for a sequel with a bad rap? Well, here’s one for you.

Personally I think TCM 2 represents some of Tobe Hooper’s most underrated work. With more time maybe it would’ve been a more polished effort but on the other hand its slap-dash nature gives it some energy.

Caroline Williams gives a great performance as Stretch and Bill Mosley as Chop-Top is one memorable psycho, as good as Ed O’Neal’s Hitchhiker in the original.

The addition of more humor to the mix offended some fans but I think it would’ve been unbearably grim otherwise and even with the humor, TCM 2 is still hard to take at times.

Religious zealots spent a good deal of the ‘80s trying to tell parents that heavy metal was the work of the devil. Here, it’s all true! Which to me, is an automatic knock against it. Talk about missing the point. Add to that the fact that the lead here is "Skippy" from Family Ties (Marc Price) and we’re in the middle of Lameville. A must-see for fans of sucky ‘80s horror.

A nice little horror film that relies on a solid story and well-developed characters. I’m surprised that more filmmakers haven’t tried to make a film around the popularity of Ouija boards but this one will have to do.

It’s not a great film but writer/director Kevin S. Tenny did make something that was a cut above the current competition. It’s pretty low on violence but there is one memorable scene with a psychic impaled on a sundial. Even better is the scene where a character is shockingly killed by a piece of dry wall.

One of the only films I’ve been tempted to walk out on. I knew this was going into the toilet as soon as the cut-rate animation came up. Nothing as stylish as the original, Creepshow 2 is just a cheap effort right down the line. But it does play well as a nice piece of ‘80s nostalgia. Remember when almost any horror movie could make it into the theaters?

Kids in horror films always put a project on thin ice but fans of stop motion will find some value here in this tame but not terrible effort. In The Gate a group of kids open a gateway to another dimension from which troll-like beings emerge. The stop-motion used to animate these trolls is well done for a low budget film and helps give the movie a little bit of character.

A movie that deserves more of a fan following. Way ahead of the original Prom Night, Hello, Mary Lou is more in line with the surreal thrills of A Nightmare on Elm Street than the type of routine slasher film the original Prom Night represented.

Monster movies of any stripe are always welcome with me. This one is kind of fun, as I remember. But it’s definitely the type of film that would have to settle for a direct-to-video release today.

In The Kindred, a teen inherits his mom’s lab (in a house out in the middle of nowhere, of course) so naturally he brings a group of his pals along but some past gene-slicing experiments are still in the basement and decide to crash the get together. Doesn't that always happen with gene-splicing experiments? Too bad they couldn't splice in a gene for good manners, right?  

I hated Lost Boys at the time for being an "MTV horror movie" but now even MTV isn’t the MTV that I remember so for me Lost Boys has become a fun period piece of mid-‘80s styles and attitudes. As far as slick efforts like this go, Lost Boys is fun stuff with a cast that brings humor and conviction to their roles.

An undeserved failure at the time, Monster Squad has made its fans over time thanks to home video. Monster Squad dispenses with much of the saccharine qualities of other ‘80s kid flicks thanks to writer Shane Black and director Fred Dekker. A personal favorite. 

Yeah, it’s more sci-fi than horror but it’s also one of the best monster movies of the ‘80s so there you go. The final design of the Predator (by Stan Winston) is certainly neat (it looks kind of like a fish with dread locks) but some of the best moments here are when its camouflaged while stalking its prey through the South American jungle. Predator also boasts one of the best "guy" casts around. With Schwarzenegger flanked by the likes of Bill Duke, Carl Weathers, and Jesse Ventura, the Predator has its work cut out for him here.

Sci-fi doesn’t get much more violent or subversive than in the hands of Paul Verhoven. This is arguably the man’s best film – a perfect fusion of over-the-top action and piercing satire. To me, it felt like the cinematic answer to comic’s Dark Knight Returns (released the previous year) in regard to its sensibilities (ironically, DKR writer/artist Frank Miller wrote the script to the less-successful follow-up, Robocop 2).

Robocop shares with DKR the feeling of a decaying urban hell hanging by a thread and waiting for its redemption. Even Verhoven’s use of constant news updates and commercial interruptions recalls the similar approach Miller used to give his groundbreaking book a broader sense of the socio-political canvas.

Stage Fright 

American slasher movies had mostly run out of gas my the mid-‘80s but this Italian answer to the body count films of the ‘80s (which were of course, America’s answer to the body count genre begun in Italy with Mario Bava’s Twitch of the Death Nerve) is a stunner. Director Michele Soavi’s debut film is a humdinger of a slasher picture. Great owl mask on the killer, too.

A smart, atypical serial killer film. Not quite surreal but definitely filmed with a very trippy, psychedelic approach. Lots of fluid, swooping camera work that might remind many of Argento. The score by Pink Floyd’s Nick Mason adds to the head-trip feel.

You can’t go too wrong with Richard Lynch as your villain (hey, he even brightened up Scanner Cop!). In this attempt at a new Nightmare on Elm Street–type franchise, Lynch is a cult guru who in 1973 burned his followers to death along with himself in an act of mass suicide. One survivor (Jennifer Rubin, from The Dream Warriors) wakes up out of a coma years later only to be pursued by visions of a charred Lynch. Pretty lame.

Tim Burton’s one-of-a-kind tale of benign spooks trying to find peace from the living is still one of his best films and one of the better horror comedies around. It’s a cute film without sacrificing a genuine sense of ghoulish humor. You know, it’s not an obnoxious Hocus Pocus type of kids movie.

For my money, this was the best return trip to Haddonfield for Michael Myers. It still doesn’t compete with the original but I do think it’s better than II and H2O.

And call me slow but the twist ending was actually surprising to me.

A sequel I liked a lot. It didn’t make much more sense than the first film but I liked the trippiness of its visuals and its all-out horrific approach. I mean this was one gory-ass movie.

A serial killer is loose in the present day and he appears to be a modern version of Jack the Ripper. Overall, Jack's Back is a clever thriller (with a great twist after the first act) that features a good performance by James Spader.

A movie that’s easier for me to admire than like. It’s beautifully made and clearly a labor of love for writer/director Frank Langello (Fear No Evil) but it’s a little too precocious for my taste.

Lady in White got some critical acclaim at the time but not much of a theatrical release but I suspect it would be something of a hit if released today in the wake of films like The Sixth Sense and The Others. Well crafted with a sentimental streak, Lady in White is a movie that was probably about ten years ahead of its time in terms of audience’s tastes.

Thank God we didn’t have to say the ‘80s went by without one good mutant cockroach movie. And leave it to producer Roger Corman to be behind it. This definitely serves up the full bouquet of cockroach action. Lots of slime and capricious amounts of gore.

Sure, it’s not horror but I think one of the keys to living a good life is to mention They Live at every opportunity. So here it is – They Live, one of the great sci-fi/action films of the ‘80s.

One of Carpenter’s best, this gives the Reagan ‘80s the lambasting they so richly deserved. And the ending is just downbeat enough with a hint of victory. It’s a great movie. It holds up. I watch it often. What more can I say?

Director Steve Miner just doesn’t get enough credit. I mean, the man behind Friday the 13th Part II and 3-D as well as House, Halloween H2O, and Lake Placid as well as the first Warlock is hardly given a footnote in the annals of horrordom! 

What gives? This is a four franchise man!

So let’s give Steve’s good work a bit of credit here.

Well, actually, I hated Lake Placid and I didn’t like Halloween H2O much and I’m not really all that fond of Warlock. But hey, Steve is still the only guy to have directed a 3-D Friday the 13th so let’s not sell him short, shall we?

But back to Warlock.

It does look like some kind of masterpiece next to the sequel, Warlock: The Armageddon. I won’t mention the third Warlock film because without Julian Sands it isn’t a Warlock movie! I mean – is it a Leprechaun movie if they don’t have Warwick Davis? No!

Anyhow, the first Warlock does have its own cult following. And it’s really not so bad. But for some reason it never clicked with me. Maybe it has something to do with the presence of Lori Singer. But the script is by David Twohy (Pitch Black) and any movie that has Julian Sands and Richard E. Grant representing the forces of good and evil can’t be all bad.

Helmed by no less than Anthony Hickok (Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth, Sundown), Waxwork is fun stuff – if you can get past the annoying teen characters, that is. But David Warner is there so that helps.

But Zach Galligan is there, too, so that’s not so helpful.

But wait – Patrick Macnee is around! Whew! Thank God for back-up!

Anyhow, Galligan and his annoying friends pay an ill-adivsed midnight visit to a brand-new wax museum (isn’t that what all the kids did in the glamorous ‘80s?). There’s one catch, though. Besides looking like dorks, they’re also prey to the machinations of David Warner who wants to use hem as sacrifices to bring all kinds of evil into the world.

What’s really cool about Waxwork (besides Warner and Macnee) is the waxworks themselves. Each tableau is a re-creation of some classic horror character and when the kids cross over, they go into the world of the display.

This is a nice example of a horror film that has plenty of old-school charms (it almost has a Hammer film vibe at times) while loading on the ‘80s-style splatter. I’m assuming you find that nice, of course. Sadly, the only way most people have ever seen Waxwork is in a shoddy, washed-out pan and scan version. And yet, it’s still garnered something of a fan base. So here’s hoping that it’ll make its way to a remastered DVD one of these days.

It’s something of a kick to see Peter Jackson sitting on top of the Hollywood heap now, given his crass, splatter-iffic origins. Who’d have guessed? Personally I can’t wait until all this Hobbit stuff is behind him and he can get back to his real work.

A not-so-bad sequel to one of the ‘80s best.

Brian Yunza fills in for Stuart Gordon and acquits himself just fine. Although his work as a director has faltered lately (Progeny, Faust) I liked his early work quite a bit. And hey, Faust was pretty zany so I’ve got to give that one to him!

But anyhow, Bride of the Re-Animator was ok as I recall. It’s been ages since I’ve watched it but it has a couple of good chuckles and Jeffrey Combs is back in the saddle as Herbert West so what’s not to like? And not to mention the fact that the late David Gale plays West’s nemesis for the second and, sadly, last time. 

The primo, top choice teen comedy of the ‘80s.

With all deference to John Hughes, Heathers is the high school film for me. While Heathers is a comedy, it’s an exceptionally dark comedy that holds all kinds of appeal for horror fans. And in many ways, this felt like the beginning of Gen-X as a cultural, ah, thing.

I know watching it on its original release it felt like I was recognizing a shared sensibility at work. It had this acerbic generational outlook that sparked a sense of a kindred spirit. I watched it again recently and was happy to see how well it holds up. Heathers is a film so influential that comedies in its wake have been described as "Heathers-esque" and that doesn’t happen too often.

James Issac (Jason X) got his first directing gig here and it’s not bad.

The big plus for The Horror Show is in the teaming of Lance Henriksen and the late Brion James. These two titans of character acting make their usual strong impression here and elevate what would otherwise be (and, well, still is) mediocre material.

This is also one of several late ‘80s/early ‘90s horror films that revolved around executed killers coming back from the dead. How these things get started I’ll never know.

Anyhow, this stands as the rare dual franchise attempt. Technically it’s the sequel to House and was released overseas as House III (I guess it qualifies as a sequel due to the fact that it also takes place in…a house).

While in the states it was called The Horror Show with the hope that James’ Krueger-esque killer would catch on. Well, we’ve all seen where these deliberate attempts at making horror franchises go and The Horror Show was no exception two times over (next up, Wes Craven’s Shocker!).

But as a schlocky and fairly aggressive little B-movie (I remember this being pretty bloody), you could do a lot worse. Not least of all to see pros like Henriksen and James rip into their parts with the expected relish.

Isn’t it too bad that the vogue for underwater sci-fi horror movies was so brief? For the record, I’d have to say that this is my favorite from the late ‘80s. Go, go Leviathan!

I’ve never understood how this movie did so well or why anyone would like it. If only Romero had been able to make his version. There’s some brutal scenes here (just try not to cringe at the slicing of an Achilles’ tendon) but the family is so devoid of personality that’s it’s hard to care.

I have to say I have something of a soft spot for this one. I just think it’s fun to watch Robert Englund try his hand at a "classic" horror movie role and director Dwight Little (Halloween 4) makes this a solid genre piece.

Late ‘80s Scream Queen Jill Scholen (The Stepfather) is her usual appealing self here and once again makes a good protagonist. With its conspicuous amounts of gore and period atmosphere, Phantom reminds me of a Hammer horror film.

Of all the genre greats, Wes Craven has had the most uneven career. Although he’s had greater commercial success than, say, Carpenter or Romero – it’s off-set by the fact that he also has films like Shocker to his credit.

Aside from a good turn by Mitch Pileggi, Shocker only misses being Craven’s worst by virtue that this is the same man who also brought us Deadly Friend, A Vampire in Brooklyn, and The Hills Have Eyes Part 2.

Brian Yunza makes another winner (which was actually filmed before Bride of the Re-Animator). With plenty of old-school prosthetic FX work (courtesy of Screaming Mad George), it’s a slimy gem from the pre-CGI days.

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